Thursday, October 09, 2008

Cerebrum Exempli gratia: Un exemple de comment mon cerveau travaille

The following is an example of how I think. How my brain works:

Let's say a friend came to me and said that he had a pair of brand new shoes that were a gift but that he didn't like them and couldn't return them and further explained that he wanted me to have them. He then showed me the shoes as I think to myself, "they're alright, but not great" and he proceeds to tell me that he was a size 12, a full 2 sizes bigger than me.

I would let him know that I couldn't use them, but in my head I would feel loss. Even though I really didn't like the shoes, even though they would never fit, even though they were never really mine to begin with, my brain would sink into a depression the likes of which would make you think a relative died.

I know this. I've explained it. Given an example. Why can't I control it? And why does everyone around me want to help me with it? Why am I this way? What makes me depressed so intensely over so small a thing? And if this happens to this degree over a small thing, can you imagine what happens when it's something more serious? No one understands. I don't understand. What is it called? What is one to do?

"Insanity is knowing that what you're doing is completely idiotic, but still, somehow, you just can't stop it."

- Elizabeth Wurtzel
, Prozac Nation
An example of how my brain works


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