Thursday, November 09, 2006

I am what I tell you I am (not what you insist that I be)

Just for the record, I am not a normal person doing bad, I am an Agoraphobic that is doing well thank you very fucking much. I go through nasty personal struggles every day only to have my triumphs ignored and my shortcomings spotlighted.

Understand, I am done trying to apologize for the way I am (this is in large part why people like me find it hard to exist with people like you), and what's funny is the "friends" that complain the loudest about my condition are the ones that seem to try the hardest to perpetuate it. They seem to understand when someone they don't know goes through it because they don't have to deal with it directly. Or, they think that just because I seem normal most of the time that I must not be able to straighten up and fly right (or that I just won't).

Don't get me wrong, there are a few people who accept me for who I am and don't get bent all out of shape 10 seconds after they say they understand when I have an episode and then make it 30 times worse by kicking me when I'm down. There are some who make fun of me and of my situation because they are ignorant and don't understand and that is their immature way of dealing with things. Yeah, thanks.

I am doing very well. I am trying very hard. I leave my apartment out of necessity, but I try to do things that are difficult for me when I can. You don't know the agonizing struggle it is to do the everyday things that you take for granted. You have not one clue what my world is like, and for those of you who insist on taking this lightly and acting like an enemy rather than the "friend" you claim to be, fuck you very much for your lack of compassion and your insincerity.



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