Thursday, August 20, 2009

L'enfer Piquant Familier

Barry couldn't help but dread what had become endless waiting. Minute by minute turned to hour upon hour. Days passed with no word. He'd been sure this time was different, that everything said was true, that every sentiment was from the heart. But alas, he felt the old familiar stinging hell of his absence in body and mind. She'd chosen everything else in the world.

He tried to pass the time with frivolous pursuits. Many volumes of ephemeral arcana lay beneath his eyes, read but not consumed. Many hours spent looking out into the distance at the world passing him by that didn't care. Another night had come. Where had the days gone? Why was this where he had ended up? Had everything lead to this? Surviving all he'd survived to watch everyone else have a life?

He viewed the darkness and welcomed the cold reality of where he was going. He'd given all and it was something no one else wanted. Why should he want it anymore?


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Personne Le ne Fait la Moitié aussi Bon que Vous...

...because I was thinking of you.
Nobody Does It Half as Good as You...

Le Type Pire de Souffrir

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”

~ Paulo Coelho

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dans la mort il n'y a pas souffrir

"Absence and death are the same -- only that in death there is no suffering."

~ Walter Savage Landor

Friday, August 14, 2009

Invicta aeturnum

Heather liked them a lot so I figured it warranted posting here as well. These are some of the sketches I'm working on for the logo of my new band Stilgar. It's morphing daily but I think I have a hold on what I want.


Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Tout Meurt

Music Video Code by Metal Video

Well I loved my aunt...
But she died
And my uncle too...
Then he died

I'm searching for something which can't be found
But I'm hoping
I still dream of dad...
Though he died

My ma's so sick...
She might die
Though my girl's quite fit...
She will die

Still looking for someone who was around
Barely coping
Now I hate myself...
Wish I'd die

Everything dies


Friday, August 07, 2009

Les plaisirs de la Chair

I feel this wave that is carrying me
And I'm unable to stop
I stand outside of my body
But it continues to walk
Love me and touch me
Your body my feast
Torn between two sides of my nature
Half god and half beast

And then my mind starts to work out
What's going on
While the knot in my stomach
Is telling me something's wrong
Yes it's all the pain that I'm feeling
And the guilt that I hide
Yes it's all the hurt that I caused you
And all the tears that I've cried

To be shameless is blameless
If we be what we are
If freedom is what I suspect
Then tomorrow will jar against your conditioning

This hunger in my flesh my instinct says it knows what's best
But when the animal takes hold feel forces outside my control


Thursday, August 06, 2009


She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low, feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside, isn't on the label

She says she's ashamed
Can she take me for a while
And can I be a friend, we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able

We're here and now, but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade...

She says that love is for fools who fall behind
I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior

'Til I break at the bend

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away...

Guess I'll let it go


My Great Grandfather as posted in the White River Valley Historical Quarterly. Volume 1, Number 4 Summer 1962

First Honorary Member Dr. M. C. Amyx

Dr. Mathew Clay Amyx, member of an outstanding pioneer family of Ozark County, was named the first honorary member of the White River Valley Historical Society in recognition for the work he has done for the newly organized society. The award was made at the Society's Summer meeting at Forsyth.

Dr. Amyx contributed the first historical marker to be erected by the Society when he provided funds for the Rockbridge Mill marker and for the dedication of the marker. Placed at Rockbridge Mill at the Rainbow Game and Trout Ranch, the marker was dedicated October 29, 1961.

Known to his friends as "M.C. or Clay," Dr. Amyx was born in the Zanoni community in 1896. His father, Sidney F. Amyx, long prominent in the political life of the county, and his mother, Edgie Patterson Amyx, were both members of Ozark County pioneer families. Dr. Amyx's maternal great grandfather, John Patter son, a Union soldier, was wounded at the Battle of Wilson's Creek and died shortly after wards. He is buried in the National Cemetery in Springfield. His great grandmother, Amanda Patterson (Little), operated the family mill near Rockbridge during the war years. His maternal grandparents, Clay and Frances Young Patterson, were life-long residents of the county. Prominent in the early settlement of the county were his paternal great grandparents, Preston and Eliza Ballard Amyx, as were his paternal grandparents, Matthew Kim and Martha Davis Amyx.

Dr. Amyx graduated from the former Kansas City Western Dental College, now part of the University of Kansas City, with a degree in dentistry and established his practice in West Plains where he has made his home since 1926. He married India Sims, a native of Ozark County, and they have two children, Mrs. Launa Eise man of Jefferson City, and Orin who manages the Amyx Manufacturing Company in West Plains, which Dr. Amyx founded in 1947. Before this, Dr. Amyx had owned and operated the West Plains Manufacturing Co., Inc., from 1928 to 1946.

Dr. Amyx has a long record of service in public and civic affairs. He was mayor of West Plains from 1946 to 1952 and he has been honored by having a street named for him there. He was a member of the Missouri State Dental Board for 5 years, in the 1930's; he served for 11 years on the West Plains Board of Education and he is a member of the board of directors of the Missouri State Chamber of Commerce at the present time and is a member of the West Plains Chamber of Commerce. Dr. Amyx says, "I have been a member of the Christian Church board for as long as I can remember."

Shortly after his birth, Dr. Amyx moved with his family to Rockbridge where he lived until he was 12 years old. He has always loved the beautiful valley of Spring Creek where Rockbridge stands, and in 1954 he and his brother, Lile, bought the old pioneer mill building and the entire village where they established the Rainbow Trout and Game Ranch.


Tuesday, August 04, 2009

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil"

~ Baltasar Gracián y Morales

Monday, August 03, 2009

Ne pas me répondre

If you need to believe in someone,
Turn and look behind
When we were living in a dream world,
Clouds got in the way
We gave it up in a moment of madness
And threw it all away

Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in

Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we've said and done?

If you need to believe in someone,
Just pretend it's me
It ain't enough that we meet as strangers
I can't set you free
So will you turn your back forever on what you mean to me?

Don't answer me, don't break the silence
Don't let me win
Don't answer me, stay on your island
Don't let me in

Run away and hide from everyone
Can you change the things we've said and done?



Walk in silence,
Don't walk away, in silence.
See the danger,
Always danger,
Endless talking,
Life rebuilding,
Don't walk away.

Walk in silence,
Don't turn away, in silence.
Your confusion,
My illusion,
Worn like a mask of self-hate,
Confronts and then dies.
Don't walk away.

People like you find it easy,
Naked to see,
Walking on air.
Hunting by the rivers,
Through the streets,
Every corner abandoned too soon,
Set down with due care.
Don't walk away in silence,
Don't walk away.