Tuesday, September 30, 2008

4th Post? (or...unsuccessfully coping with an unhealthy morning dose of condescension)

I've posted at least 4 times at length about agoraphobia and am a little miffed that someone would try to talk down at me and suggest I don't know the difference between agoraphobia and claustrophobia. Especially someone I respect and consider a friend and especially because now I feel that the whole point and atmosphere of the original story is completely lost.

First, let me take a second to point out what that someone tried to call me out on (please note the "I could be wrong..." followed up with the very condescending and WRONG definition and diagnosis):

"I could be wrong, but I suspect you've got your "Agora" and your "Claustro"s mixed up.

An Agoraophobic is panicked by wide open spaces, so wouldn't be too bothered about the hell that you've been through..."

Now, let me share just a tiny little part of my last blog on agoraphobia which was posted Friday, August 29:

"Agoraphobia today describes severe and pervasive anxiety about being in situations from which escape might be difficult or embarrassing and/or from which help may not be available should a panic attack occur."

The ignorant belief that agoraphobia is just a fear of "wide open spaces" is the whole reason I post about it in the first place. It is a complex disorder about which I've tried to educate, and I feel that for my efforts it was more important to try to call me out on something about which someone knew very little and to do it thoughtlessly at my expense.

I feel I just couldn't let the condescending, passive aggressive comment go without saying something. I've learned that the best way to not have to repeat yourself is to make sure your point is crystal clear. That being said, it's over now and life goes on.

If anyone hasn't read any of my post's on agoraphobia, they have been sprinkled all over this blog for the last 2 years and are loaded with actual facts. For the most recent post, click here. Peace.


Monday, September 29, 2008

Maniacal Musick (Rêves doux)

Remercie Proscriptor!!!

...to termine tout le lundi

This morning I woke up about 30 minutes before my alarm usually goes off (4:30 a.m.) and had a terrible sore throat, achy body and head and was unable to roll over and go back to sleep for the remaining 30 minutes. I watched a little bit of news, fed Joe and decided to just get ready for work and go in early. All was well with the exception of the sore throat which I looked at and didn't see any signs of Streptococcal pharyngitis but was none-the-less irritating.

On the way to work at the toll plaza, the nicest morning both operator was about to start his shift, "good morning. Your my first toll of the day..." he smiled, "that could either be good luck or bad luck. I think it's good." I smiled back, "it's good luck" and I drove off.

As I got to work, I noticed that no security was around which is odd as I usually see at least one of them as I walk to the building but I really didn't pay any mind. I got on the elevator, hit the button to go to 11 (insert Spinal Tap reference) and began the couple second journey to my office floor. As I came up to my destination, the "11" vanished to a series of several beeps. Not "hello, good morning" beeps, but "oh fuck, something is up" beeps and the elevator stopped.

I would like to tell you that this agoraphobic handled himself like a strong, able to overcome a thing like being trapped in an elevator type of gentleman, but I did not. My first impulse was to blame the maintenance guys who are NOTORIOUS for not looking at the grid and noticing someone is on the elevator and dropping them all back to 1 for spot checks. Perhaps this is done on purpose but how would one prove it? Anyway, this day was different and the elevator was going nowhere.


I rang bells, sounded alarms, yelled "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" at the top of my lungs, kicked the doors, hit the walls and tried to pry the doors open. I even went so far as to jump up and down to maybe get it to move or trigger something. I just HAD to get out! I was loosing it.

Finally, someone came on the intercom and identified themselves as Dallas Security. "...may I help you sir?"
I calmed down because after all, it wasn't his fault, he wasn't even on site. That and no matter what a situation, being a prick for no reason gets you nowhere. I've got a former friend who could give you an example of that.
"I'm trapped on the elevator"
"How long have you been there?"
"About 10 min so far"
"Are you ok?"
"Yes, but I'm agoraphobic,"
and all the sudden his casual tone turned to one of a little more urgency.
"Stay calm man, I'm gonna get you outta there"

He asked me to hold on here and there and then informed me he couldn't find where I was. COULDN'T FIND ME? We have satellites that can see a gnat frowning from outer space, and GPS available on your toaster but security can't tell from where an emergency call is coming? FROM AN ELEVATOR?!?
I fired off to him any number of things I thought might help him locate me until he finally said he'd pinpointed me and was sending for help.

By this time 20 minutes had passed (a.k.a. eternity in 'trapped in elevator' time) and I was getting hotter and hotter, literally. It's funny but people always assume that elevators are air-conditioned, but think about it... how are they going to air condition a box that goes up and down all day? Can you even imagine the tubing needed for that sort of thing? Get real, elevators on a humid day are mobile ovens and I was baking.

I sent a few texts to Laura because I knew she would be up and tried to stay calm as the walls were mocking my attempts at doing so. Sweat was now dripping of my face and nose and onto my jeans. I played a quick game of pool on my phone when I hear someone.

"...muffle....muffle...blah blah blah"
"I can't hear you, the music is too loud" yes, I forgot to mention that the whole time, the muzak never stopped and anything that was trying to be communicated to me outside the elevator was futility. I had no idea what he said, what was being done or how long I had until I dropped eleven floors to my doom (*word 'doom' used for dramatic effect).

Seconds pass, minutes... and 4 years later the door opens to a skinny hillbilly who looks like DJ Qualls...
"Good morning"
"Thank god, finally" I smile and half expected firemen and EMT's and news reporters along with coworkers and family members to all be present for my release, but it was just DJ, his assistant and the security guard I assume tried to talk to me through the door.
"Thank you I said" and DJ turned around to me and said "you're very welcome" as the he, the assistant and the security guard hopped on a working elevator and disappeared into the dark morning.

The security guard didn't ask if I was alright. He didn't say he was sorry or ask how long I was trapped. It was a lack-luster response to a person with agoraphobia or any person who goes through the uncertainty of something like this. I was glad to be off, glad to feel cool un-stale air again, but the more I think about it, the more I feel I should say something. To whom, I don't know, and what to say, I don't know either.

I do thank DJ for opening the doors and thank Laura for talking me down another way. It could have been worse, but not a super way to start a work week.
...to end all Mondays

Friday, September 26, 2008

Python de monty Cirque Volant

"Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke you vacuous, toffy-nosed, malodorous pervert! "

"What? I came in here for an argument."

"Oh, oh oh I'm sorry, this is "abuse'. You want Room 12-A just along the corridor. "

- Mr. Barnard and Man

Merci Noir!!!

Le nouveau Joueur de Musique de Myspace (n'A pas Impressionné!!!)

So I'm wanting to add an Old Man Gloom song to my profile but in order to do so I have to start using this new Myspace music player. Well fuck me if it's not yet another change Myspace feels they have to make and force us all to comply with.

First of all, the good news is that you can actually make playlists. That's it, that's the only fucking good news.

Now the bad news. This player is "Make sure it's as gay as it can be" baby blue and there is no way to change it...strike one. It's also GIGANTIC and there is no way to change that...stike two and, there is no way to revert back to the old way of doing things or to get rid of the player altogher, (a big problem with Myspace in fucking general) strike three assholes.

So, thank you very much Myspace and big company of small penis dumbfucks that bought Myspace. You've now created and forced us to use this bulky, gay-looking half-assed music player that clashes completely with any indiviual look and feel we users may have worked hard on to create in the place where we waste so much of our time.

Eat shit and die,


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

La conscience pendant la Conflagration

By M.J. STEPHEY Tue Sep 23, 6:40 PM ET

A fellow at New York City's Weill Cornell Medical Center, Dr. Sam Parnia is one of the world's leading experts on the scientific study of death. Last week Parnia and his colleagues at the Human Consciousness Project announced their first major undertaking: a 3-year exploration of the biology behind "out-of-body" experiences. The study, known as AWARE (AWAreness during REsuscitation), involves the collaboration of 25 major medical centers through Europe, Canada and the U.S. and will examine some 1,500 survivors of cardiac arrest. TIME spoke with Parnia about the project's origins, its skeptics and the difference between the mind and the brain.

What sort of methods will this project use to try and verify people's claims of "near-death" experience?

When your heart stops beating, there is no blood getting to your brain. And so what happens is that within about 10 sec., brain activity ceases - as you would imagine. Yet paradoxically, 10% or 20% of people who are then brought back to life from that period, which may be a few minutes or over an hour, will report having consciousness. So the key thing here is, Are these real, or is it some sort of illusion? So the only way to tell is to have pictures only visible from the ceiling and nowhere else, because they claim they can see everything from the ceiling. So if we then get a series of 200 or 300 people who all were clinically dead, and yet they're able to come back and tell us what we were doing and were able see those pictures, that confirms consciousness really was continuing even though the brain wasn't functioning.

How does this project relate to society's perception of death?

People commonly perceive death as being a moment - you're either dead or you're alive. And that's a social definition we have. But the clinical definition we use is when the heart stops beating, the lungs stop working, and as a consequence the brain itself stops working. When doctors shine a light into someone's pupil, it's to demonstrate that there is no reflex present. The eye reflex is mediated by the brain stem, and that's the area that keeps us alive; if that doesn't work, then that means that the brain itself isn't working. At that point, I'll call a nurse into the room so I can certify that this patient is dead. Fifty years ago, people couldn't survive after that.

How is technology challenging the perception that death is a moment?

Nowadays, we have technology that's improved so that we can bring people back to life. In fact, there are drugs being developed right now - who knows if they'll ever make it to the market - that may actually slow down the process of brain-cell injury and death. Imagine you fast-forward to 10 years down the line; and you've given a patient, whose heart has just stopped, this amazing drug; and actually what it does is, it slows everything down so that the things that would've happened over an hour, now happen over two days. As medicine progresses, we will end up with lots and lots of ethical questions.

But what is happening to the individual at that time? What's really going on? Because there is a lack of blood flow, the cells go into a kind of a frenzy to keep themselves alive. And within about 5 min. or so they start to damage or change. After an hour or so the damage is so great that even if we restart the heart again and pump blood, the person can no longer be viable, because the cells have just been changed too much. And then the cells continue to change so that within a couple of days the body actually decomposes. So it's not a moment; it's a process that actually begins when the heart stops and culminates in the complete loss of the body, the decompositions of all the cells. However, ultimately what matters is, What's going on to a person's mind? What happens to the human mind and consciousness during death? Does that cease immediately as soon as the heart stops? Does it cease activity within the first 2 sec., the first 2 min.? Because we know that cells are continuously changing at that time. Does it stop after 10 min., after half an hour, after an hour? And at this point we don't know.

What was your first interview like with someone who had reported an out-of-body experience?

Eye-opening and very humbling. Because what you see is that, first of all, they are completely genuine people who are not looking for any kind of fame or attention. In many cases they haven't even told anybody else about it because they're afraid of what people will think of them. I have about 500 or so cases of people that I've interviewed since I first started out more than 10 years ago. It's the consistency of the experiences, the reality of what they were describing. I managed to speak to doctors and nurses who had been present who said these patients had told them exactly what had happened, and they couldn't explain it. I actually documented a few of those in my book What Happens When We Die because I wanted people to get both angles - not just the patients' side but also the doctors' side - and see how it feels for the doctors to have a patient come back and tell them what was going on. There was a cardiologist that I spoke with who said he hasn't told anyone else about it because he has no explanation for how this patient could have been able to describe in detail what he had said and done. He was so freaked out by it that he just decided not to think about it anymore.

Why do you think there is such resistance to studies like yours?

Because we're pushing through the boundaries of science, working against assumptions and perceptions that have been fixed. A lot of people hold this idea that, well, when you die, you die; that's it. Death is a moment - you know you're either dead or alive. All these things are not scientifically valid, but they're social perceptions. If you look back at the end of the 19th century, physicists at that time had been working with Newtonian laws of motion, and they really felt they had all the answers to everything that was out there in the universe. When we look at the world around us, Newtonian physics is perfectly sufficient. It explains most things that we deal with. But then it was discovered that actually when you look at motion at really small levels - beyond the level of the atoms - Newton's laws no longer apply. A new physics was needed, hence, we eventually ended up with quantum physics. It caused a lot of controversy - even Einstein himself didn't believe in it.

Now, if you look at the mind, consciousness, and the brain, the assumption that the mind and brain are the same thing is fine for most circumstances, because in 99% of circumstances we can't separate the mind and brain; they work at the exactly the same time. But then there are certain extreme examples, like when the brain shuts down, that we see that this assumption may no longer seem to hold true. So a new science is needed in the same way that we had to have a new quantum physics. The CERN particle accelerator may take us back to our roots. It may take us back to the first moments after the Big Bang, the very beginning. With our study, for the first time, we have the technology and the means to be able to investigate this. To see what happens at the end for us. Does something continue?
Awareness during Resuscitation

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Si seulement vous pourriez voir que j'ai vu par vos yeux

In celebration of Blade Runner's 25th anniversary, director Ridley Scott has gone back into post production to create the long-awaited definitive new version. Blade Runner: The Final Cut, spectacularly restored and remastered from original elements and scanned at 4K resolution, will contain never-before-seen added/extended scenes, added lines, new and improved special effects, director and filmmaker commentary, an all-new 5.1 Dolby® Digital audio track and more. Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Edward James Olmos, Joanna Cassidy, Sean Young, and Daryl Hannah are among some 80 stars, filmmakers and others who participate in the extensive bonus features. Among the bonus material highlights is Dangerous Days, a brand new, three-and-a-half-hour documentary by award-winning DVD producer Charles de Lauzirika, with an extensive look into every aspect of the film: its literary genesis, its challenging production and its controversial legacy. The definitive documentary to accompany the definitive film version.

The Ultimate Collector's Edition will be presented in a unique 5-disc digi-package with handle which is a stylish version of Rick Deckard's own briefcase. In addition, each briefcase will be individually numbered and in limited supply. Included is a lenticular motion film clip from the original feature, miniature origami unicorn figurine, miniature replica spinner car, and collector's photographs, as well as a signed personal letter from Sir Ridley Scott.

Disc One
Restored and remastered with added & extended scenes, added lines, new and cleaner special effects and all new 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio. Also includes:

* Commentary by Ridley Scott
* Commentary by executive producer/co-screenwriter Hampton Fancher and co-screenwriter David Peoples; producer Michael Deely and production executive Katherine Haber
* Commentary by visual futurist Syd Mead; production designer Lawrence G. Paull, art director David L. Snyder and special photographic effects supervisors Douglas Trumbull, Richard Yuricich and David Dryer

Disc Two
A feature-length authoritative documentary revealing all the elements that shaped this hugely influential cinema landmark. Cast, crew, critics and colleagues give a behind-the-scenes, in-depth look at the film -- from its literary roots and inception through casting, production, visuals and special effects to its controversial legacy and place in Hollywood history.

Disc Three
This is the version that introduced U.S. movie-going audiences to a revolutionary film with a new and excitingly provocative vision of the near-future. It contains Deckard/Harrison Ford's character narration and has Deckard and Rachel's (Sean Young) "happy ending" escape scene.

Also used on U.S. home video, laserdisc and cable releases up to 1992. This version is not rated, and contains some extended action scenes in contrast to the Theatrical Version.

The Director's Cut omits Deckard's voiceover narration and removes the "happy ending" finale. It adds the famously-controversial "unicorn" sequence, a vision that Deckard has which suggests that he, too, may be a replicant.

Disc Four
BONUS DISC - "Enhancement Archive": 90 minutes of deleted footage and rare or never-before-seen items in featurettes and galleries that cover the film's amazing history, production teams, special effects, impact on society, promotional trailers, TV spots, and much more.

* Featurette "The Electric Dreamer: Remembering Philip K. Dick"
* Featurette "Sacrificial Sheep: The Novel vs. The Film"
* Philip K. Dick: The Blade Runner Interviews (audio)
* Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep Cover Gallery (images)
* The Art of Blade Runner (image galleries)
* Featurette "Signs of the Times: Graphic Design"
* Featurette "Fashion Forward: Wardrobe & Styling"
* Screen Tests: Rachel & Pris
* Featurette "The Light That Burns: Remembering Jordan Cronenweth"
* Unit photography gallery
* Deleted and alternate scenes
* 1982 promotional featurettes
* Trailers and TV spots
* Featurette "Promoting Dystopia: Rendering the Poster Art"
* Marketing and merchandise gallery (images)
* Featurette "Deck-A-Rep: The True Nature of Rick Deckard"
* Featurette "--Nexus Generation: Fans & Filmmakers"

Disc Five
This rare version of the film is considered by some to be the most radically different of all the Blade Runner cuts. It includes an altered opening scene, no Deckard narration until the final scenes, no "unicorn" sequence, no Deckard/Rachel "happy ending," altered lines between Batty (Rutger Hauer) and his creator Tyrell (Joe Turkell), alternate music and much more. Also includes:

* Commentary by Paul M. Sammon, author of Future Noir: The Making of Blade Runner
* Featurette "All Our Variant Futures: From Workprint to Final Cut"

And I got one! I cannot WAIT to see the mythical "Workprint" version. I saw this in theaters when it came out 26 years ago and it was always better and more real to me than Star Wars or Star Trek but I could still run around the back yard and shoot at shit when I wanted to be a Blade Runner! I remember buying Starlog Magazines and Blade Runner comics and thinking that I'd understood something that no one else would. Hell, my brother and step mother who are avid sci-fi fans hated it. Now here I am 26 years later and I STILL get it, I STILL love it and I am STILL convinced I'm ahead of the pack in evolution for having gotten it all those years ago. HA!

"The light that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. And you have burned so very very brightly Roy."

Dr. Eldon Tyrell: Los Angeles, 2019
If only you could see what I've seen through your eyes

Monday, September 22, 2008


So you think your taste in film is sophisticated because you like Guy Ritchie? You think you've got it all figured out, his technique, his delivery... his universe is your universe and you tell all your friends, "you gotta see Snatch, it's such an amazing film" and "when I saw Lock, Stock... for the first time, I just knew Guy Ritchie was gonna be huge." Does this pretty much sum you up?

Well first of all, your a tool for using a word like 'amazing' to describe Ritchie in the first place. That over-used word is for non-thinking drones who have given up on the whole 'thinking for themselves' thing and have just gone with the majority. Second, Guy has finally come out with a movie that those of us who appreciate the fact that he is intelligent is coupled with the already obvious fact that he's a brilliant filmmaker, can appreciate and love and which will allow us to look at all your band-wagon riding shit-for-brains and see your heads explode.

The movie is called Revolver, and while it seemingly has it's roots in typical 'Ritchie' fare, it's a thought-inducing tale involving numerology and psychology that's not once going to let you look away or not listen. You try that and you're going to be lost. I know you'll all try it, won't you. (insert lol).

I'm not going to give you much of the story but I'll give you the setup: After spending seven years in solitary confinement and having his sister-in-law murdered, confidence trickster Jake Green (Jason Statham) is out to get revenge on Dorothy Macha (Ray Liotta).

Jake Green is a hotshot con artist who has acquired a specific strategy (referred to as "the Formula"), that is supposed to lead its user to win every game, during his seven-year stint imprisoned in solitary confinement. The Formula itself was discovered by two unnamed men in adjacent cells either side of Jake's own. During the first five years of his seven-year sentence, the three men communicated their thoughts on confidence tricks and chess moves via messages hidden inside provisional books, such as 'The Mathematics of Quantum Mechanics'. They plan to leave their cells simultaneously, but end up leaving Jake behind, who ends up serving the remaining two years. He finds that all of his possessions and money have been taken by the two men with whom he had shared everything but, having the two men's Formula, he went about making a lot of money at various casinos. Two years later, Jake has garnered a reputation that leads many casinos to fear his freakishly good 'luck'. The Formula is seen to apply to any game, and is often exemplified by his apparent mastery of chess. The story revolves around Jake's epiphanic awakening, as he learns how to apply the Formula to the 'game' of life.

That's going to be just a little tiny tip of how deep this movie goes as it's riddled with Kabbalic and numerological references throughout for those who "care to indulge." Most of my readers will love the visuals, the acting, the style...but maybe one or two of you will "get" it. Which is ok, I didn't "get" it either, I failed Quantum Mechanics...er, uh, but I DID get what he was doing and did get the premise. I know the beginning, middle and end and I know the how and the why. Which is why this movie is nothing short of brilliant to me.

Watch it, I dare you. I also dare you to try to act like you understand. It's really not about that, though you'll try to convince yourself it is. I know two people who, when/if they see this film will throw a fit. When they don't understand a complicated plot, they dog the movie, actually get physically upset to the point of rage. Ha! I only wish I could be there.

I now own this movie and it's going in my "Top" list of films that I would use in a survey to describe the kind of person I am. Complicated, but fun as hell to watch.


Obtenu vous où je vous veux

Hey, what's the point of this...
What's your favorite song? Maybe we could hum along...

I think you're smart, you sweet thing
Tell me your sign, I'm dying here (but I) Got you where I want you, again

Hey, maybe just a smile
Did you know that I can't dance, could we talk for a while?

You dont get no rougher
Gone with pretty girl changing me like no other
Would you like a minute to put that thing on your lover...
Got you where I want you

Friday, September 19, 2008

Caveat utilitor: corruptus in extremis

When determining if you should let things get serious, remember: actions speak louder than words. With that being said, here are ten dating red flags. If you see any of these, do yourself a favor and reconsider if it's worth it for you.

1. You are not on the VIP list for breaking news
Were you the last to learn about this person's job promotion or newborn niece or nephew? Once things are serious, you should be among the first to know about exciting news, or bad news.

2. They avoid meeting your family or friends
If they are shying away from meeting your friends/family consistently, then there are problems. Even if they are very shy, they should want to meet those who are important to you.

3. They don't make any sacrifices
Healthy relationships don't require bending over backwards all the time, but a certain amount of sacrifice is necessary in a selfless union. When two of my friends first started dating one another, she demanded that he go to Farm Aid for her birthday, which was also the opening NFL football Sunday. While all the guys gathered to watch the games, he was sweltering on some field attending Farm Aid -- an event he never would have gone to if she hadn't have invited him. Now that's sacrifice.

4. They can't fit in your future
I admit it. When I meet girls, I envision future moments I may some day share with them. Most of my scenarios are her with me and my family at a Thanksgiving holiday or at a summer crabfeast. If I'm really into her, I usually relish the thought. If not, I kinda cringe.

5. They are too controlling
It's scary but I've seen many relationships where guys forbid girls to hang out with certain friends, or wear certain clothes. Major problem if someone is controlling you and not allowing you to be who you want to be within a relationship.

6. The "what are we" conversation fails miserably
Almost every relationship hits that crossroads where you both decide if it's worth taking the plunge into being exclusive and calling each other boyfriend/girlfriend. If they are confused and surprised that you're ready to get serious, the timing is not right, and you should try to figure out how long you want to wait around until they are ready.

7. They talk about plans that don't involve you
My sister has major wanderlust. She's always talking about heading off to Chicago or living in London for a year. She often talks about these things with no regard for the fact that she has a boyfriend at the time. If you find that someone is making plans or talking about far off places without inviting you along for the ride, don't let yourself get too into this person.

8. Your friends or family don't like them
Remember that your friends and family know you best. Don't take their thoughts with a grain of salt. It's one thing if a person or two don't get along with your significant other, but if a lot of them are saying you should reconsider, then do it. Unfortunately, we often find out about how much our friends hated that person after this person is gone.

9. They violated your trust
Whether it's cheating or a little lie that they got caught in, it will be hard to regain trust. Trust is something we don't give away easily, and once it's gone it's hard to get it back. We'll always be wondering about that lie, and doubt will creep in more and more as our minds fixate on that lie. Too often, people take trust for granted and once they lose it they never get it back.

10. You practice "unbalanced dating"
Are you always seeing his friends or doing things that he wants to do? Do you just let him pick the restaurants and events? Or is it the other way around? Relationships are fun when you are both able to contribute. If you're not taking turns creating fun times together, it will most likely fizzle out.

What would you add to the list? Ever been a victim of any of these red flags?

Posted by Rich

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Pour Terminer encore

Do you have a nickname that only your family calls you?:
I go by Matt but my mother and sisters call me Matthew, but that IS my real name so I don' t know if that counts.

Yes or No: Guys wearing pink?:
What kind of homophobe cares one way or another?

Yes or No: Girls with full-sleeve tattoos?:
That's funny because I was just thinking about that last night, and I think there is something very sexy about it.

Do clowns scare you?:
No, they concern me.
I'm talking to YOU John Wayne Gacy!

Do you think you're going to be a cooler parent than yours are?:
I think I would be a DIFFERENT parent but no matter what, our parents did something right if we aren't dead or in prison.

Have you ever been to a skating rink?:
You bet! Skateland was the shit! I remember a group of us had a break-dancing team, we wore camo and the other guys wore parachute pants.

Do you own a pair of rollerblades?:
I do not and never have.

Which is better: New Years EVE or New Years day?:
New Years Eve, New Years Day is more like Hang Over Day.

Do you have any cheesy love songs on your iPod/ MP3 player?:
Yes, yes I do. More than just a couple.

Did you watch the 08 Summer Olympics?:
Not even one second except for when I was at Stumpy and Ybanez's place and they had it on. But I talked through the whole things, so...

Do you REALLY laugh out loud EVERY time you type 'LOL'?:
I don't type lol, I have a pretty dry sense of humor so people either get it or they don't. I don't feel they need prompting.

What was the best thing about Middle school?:
I went to middle school in what they called a rural school so we had like 14 people in my class and we were all in the same classes all day long except for P.E. which would have been the only GOOD thing to have had "co-ed".

Did you have a Valentine this year?:
I did.

Do you think it would be cool to direct a film?:
That's a great question! Yes, I would love to direct films about Barry Fishman.

Does your house have a porch swing?:
Don't have a house, but my dungeon does have one of those "fuck" swings.

Do you draw on your shoes/ clothes?:
I did when I was in Jr. High. My buddies and I were all about the first Suicidal Tendencies album and anyone who's seen that knows what I'm talking about.

Before myspace & facebook was created what did you do on the internet?:
Yahoo IM, Ebay and Gigposters. com.

Yes or no: Black lipliner?:

Yes or no: Glitter eyeshadow?:
No. I think the "natural" look is the sexiest.

What is one thing you and your mom NEVER agree on?:

When you think of Madonna, what song comes to mind first?:
"Live to Tell" as I think that is her best song.

Do you drink Faygo?:
I never drink anything. To hydrate, I have an IV that I wheel around behind me that delivers electrolytes directly.

Have you ever snuck food into a movie theater?:
I have not sneaked "food" into a theater, no.

Have you ever sent a picture of yourself from your cell phone?:
I have. Whenever and whatever is requested, I usually oblige.

What time zone are you in?: (for those of us who prefer correct english: In what time zone are you?)
I am in the Central time zone

Have you ever been to a farm?:
I lived on dairy farms in Colorado and where I grew up in Missouri, it's ALL farms.

When was the last time you had a staring contest?:
Man, I think it was 2nd grade with my sister.

Honestly, have you ever trespassed? Where?:
Growing up in Missouri, we boys would go exploring and end up on all kinds of land that didn't belong to us, but if there were no fences and no signs...is it REALLY trespassing?

How interested in politics are you?:
I'm interested, but refuse to take a side. Partisan politics are one of the biggest problems with this country and choosing a side only blinds you to what the other side is doing right and what your side is doing wrong.

Do you ever go to your mom for advice?:
Sometimes, but most of the time I just ask her opinion along with everyone else's so that I can make an informed decision.

What is something that is the same color as your eyes?:
Parts of the plant I have on my desk.

Can you count to 10 in any other language? Which one(s)?:
No, not to ten. I can kind of in Spanish and German but it's broken.

Have you ever been caught skipping class by a teacher?:
I have not. I had the coolest art teacher and he, no matter what class I had would write me a pass because he knew I was a good kid and wouldn't skip unless I needed to.

Do you usually plan the activities you do on vacation ahead of time?:
I'm not much of a vacation guy but, when I went to Florida last Christmas I let my grandmother plan everything. She loves when I get there to say "I thought we'd go here, and then here and then end up here" also, planning doesn't leave a lot to spontaneity.

Do you have a favorite cousin? Who is it?:
I have several but I hang the most with Tylar. The guy is one of my best friends in the world.

How many times have you moved in your life time?:
I have lived in Texas, Missouri, Colorado and Louisiana among other places and within each of those I've lived in COUNTLESS homesteads.

Have you ever had a black eye? How did you get it?:
I've had many for many different reasons, but pretty much the only time I've been in physical altercations I've been taking up for someone else.

Do either of your parents have tattoos?
My stepfather, father and my stepmother do.

Do you have any idea where Gambia is located on a map?
Gambia is a Republic in Western Africa I think. And I think that is pretty much a little bitty thing with a river running through most of it.

Which was better: freeze tag or hide & go seek?:
Hide and Go Seek because it required much more thought and strategy and a lot less running.

Have you ever taken a family portrait?:
Yes. I think the last one was when I was a Jr. or Sr.

Have you ever had toilet paper stuck to your shoe?:
Just yesterday as a matter of fact. The men where I work are for the most part mongoloid pigs who haven't gotten used to the idea that mommy ain't here to pick up after their lazy asses.

How dramatic is your family?:
Well, we're mainly Irish AND I have 5 sisters so...VERY

What pizza place do you usually order from?: (from what pizza place do you usually order?)
Mr. Jim's.

Do you hold your breath when you drive by graveyards?:
I do not. I have this huge problem with mortality so for me, I mostly just think about my own and that of my love ones and close friends. Morbid I know but...

Are there any scars on your body that are the result of your own stupidity?:
Yes, on my left hand between my index and middle fingers I have two scars from playing that knife game that Bishop played in Aliens.

For your birthday do people buy you a cake or bake you one?:
I haven't had a cake for my birthday in many years.

Are you afraid of needles?:
I'm not. When I was a kid I had to give myself allergy shots twice a week so, you grow very used to it very quickly.

Do you think that you have a guardian angel?:
That or a karmic equilibrium that I kind of don't deserve.

What was your favorite thing to go on at the playground?:
Anything I could climb on.

Did you forget anybody's birthday this year?: (anyone's)
I don' t think so.

Is Starbucks really as good as people make it out to be?:
It really is.
For to End Yet Again

La crainte d'une planète déserte

Last night I finally saw Planet Terror, one half of the Grindhouse double -feature which showcases films by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tatantino, and let me just say, it was WELL worth the wait!

Now, I'm a fan of Robert's anyway so anything I say about his films can be taken with a grain of salt if you like. It's true, his movies do require a great deal of "suspension of dis-belief" no matter what the subject matter, but I think that is what I like the most about them. That and the fact that they are REALLY FUCKING GOOD, quality movies that are enjoyable every minute from first to last!

I mean to say, Robert has great writing, great character development, great direction, great... great... great... I could go on and on. But, those of you who are fans already know, those of you who are not, I don't give a shit about and those of you who will become fans will know soon enough and then, I will welcome you into the fold with open arms!

Massive respect to Robert for his "10 Minute" Schools in which he shows us the "how-to" aspect of his film making and cooking skills. I own everything (with only a few exceptions) that Robert has done and will continue to support his film making. If you love me, you'll do the same. See you in line for Machete (yes, it's going to be a feature film), Barbarella and Sin City 2 among other things. I'll keep you posted.
Fear of a bleak planet

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Maniacal Musick (Voici une chanson d'amour)


Monday, September 15, 2008

Le Weekend dans le Film


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

altruiste, le froid et calme

I said what you wanted to hear
And what I wanted to say
So, I will take it back
And all the dishes intact? Let them be broken...

It's easy to be
Easy and Free
When it doesn't mean anything
'cause you remain selfless, cold and composed...

You've done me no favor to call and be nice
Telling me I can take anything I like
You don't owe me to be so polite
You've done no wrong, get out of my sight...

Come on baby and throw me a right to the chin
Just don't stare like you never cared, I know you did
You just smiled like a bank teller
Blankly telling me “have a nice life...”

Come on baby and throw me a right to the chin
Just one sign that will show me that you give a shit
But she just smiles politely and I grow weaker and I,
said what you wanted to hear…


Tuesday, September 09, 2008

MANtage (you're wlecome)

MANtage - barats and bereta
Thank you Burris!!!

La Meilleure Affiche dans l'Histoire d'Affiches

The Best Poster in the History of Posters


Monday, September 08, 2008

Maniacal Musick (Une Ville Sans la Pitié)


Grâce stupéfiante

Congratulations and cheers to Jon, Kelli and Molly for the arrival of Grace Clementine Hammond!!! I wish you guys happiness and long life and hope to see you soon!
Amazing Grace


Friday, September 05, 2008

Altérer la Blessure [09.05.08]

There is a very strong need for you to clean your emotional house today. You need to toss out things that are keeping you from moving forward. If you are still nursing a heartache, that's one thing -- but if you are still wallowing in your self pity or pain, then that's quite another. Let go of the past and focus on your dreams for the future. You've been carrying this pain for too long. The fact is, you can decide to be happy or decide to be sad. Which will it be?
Doctor the wound

Caan does Dallas

Yesterday I stumbled across a movie title that caught my eye on IFC. The title was Dallas 362 and I was curious as to what it could be about. It was just starting so I flipped it on and began to watch as the titles played over a rock song and clips of black and white photos that when viewed together gave us an idea of who and what the two main characters are.

The film was written, directed and acted in by Scott Caan, the son of James Caan. You all know him and have seen him in movies before, although you won't know unless someone pointed out who he was.

Dallas 362 is about two friends, one with a chip on his shoulder (Dallas, played by Caan), the other with an over-protective but loving mother (Rusty played very well by Shawn Hatosy, another name you don't recognize but a face you will). The two are notorious bar-fighters and aimlessly drift through life with no real goal. That is until we find out via visits to a therapist played by Jeff Goldblum that Rusty really does have ambition but is being held back by his friendship with Dallas and his mother whom Goldblum's character is dating. Sound complex? It actually isn't, it's just a very well done character study with great acting from everyone (except Heavy D, but we didn't expect him to "wow" us anyway). The camaraderie between Dallas and Rusty, Rusty and his mother and Rusty and his therapist is so easy on the eyes and encouraging as well giving you an overwhelming sense of universal balance but that at any moment something terrible could come along in one of "god's jokes" that we all know so well.

Kudos to Scott for a great first outing and may I add that I am very much looking forward to his next project. For those who have asked, I don't rate the films I watch, I tell you if they are good or if they're bad. Sometimes I over-dramatize how horrible a bad one is but I NEVER over-exaggerate how great a good one is. That being said...Dallas 362 is a GREAT movie. And as for what the title means...you'll have to see the movie to find out.


L'Enquête hors d'Hier Malade

You have 10 dollars and need to buy snacks at a gas station:
~ Almost always have to get kettle chips, anything that has chocolate and peanut butter and a big Smart Water

If you were reincarnated as a sea creature, what would you want to be?
~ A Humpback Whale

Who's your favorite redhead?
~ Heather Walsh

What do you order when you're at IHOP?
~ Eggs, Sausage and Pancakes

Last book you read?
~ Black seas of Infinity by H.P.

6. Describe your mood.

~ It involves a giant question mark and I HATE having questions that I or anyone else can't answer...so I'd say my mood is...not great

Describe the last time you were injured?
~ I'm not much of a klutz but...I'd say winter of '95 when I sliced my middle and index fingers right between them on my left hand

Of all your friends, who would you want to be stuck in a well with?
~ I wouldn't want to be stuck with friends because by the time we got out, we all probably wouldn't like one another at all...and we may have to eat each other to survive...should the need arise

Rock concert or symphony?
~ Honestly, who calls it a "Rock Concert" anymore?

What is the wallpaper of your cell phone?
~ A calander

Favorite Soda?
~ Diet Coke w/ Splenda

What type of shirt are you wearing?
~ A light blue ltd.
edition pre-sale Pelican shirt from the the Pink Mammoth 10"

If you could only use one form of transportation:
~ a '98 Chevy Silverado

Most recent movie you have watched in theaters?
~ HA! I'm not much on theaters...it was probably The Devil's Rejects

Name an actor/actress/singer you have had the hots for:
~ Patricia Arquette (and that will ALWAYS be my answer forever and ever)

Whats your favorite kind of cake?
~ German Chocolate

What did you have for dinner last night?
~ Blueberry Yogurt with granola, flax and pumpkin seeds

Look to your left, what do you see?
~ A picture of Laura, a Nascar calender, coffee, a Vick's Vapor Inhaler and 3 Cult of Luna CDs.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
~ I do not but it's a habit I wish I could break

Favorite toy as a child?
~ Legos

Do you buy your own groceries?
~ Yes but I tend to put it off, I'm not great in a grocery store.
People are SO rude and stupid

Do you think people talk about you behind your back?
~ I'm positive they do

Whens the last time you had gummy worms?
~ Valentine's Day of 2007

Whats your favorite fruit?
~ Watermelon

Do you have a picture of yourself doing a cartwheel?
~ I don't, but my mother has one

Do you like running long distances?
~ I don't like doing anything long distances

Have you ever eaten snow?
~ I lived in Colorado and Southern Missouri so, absolutely

What color are your bedsheets?
~ Navy

Whats your favorite flower?
~ That kind with the Gräfenberg inside

Do you do ballet?
~ I prefer things that are NOT boring to me

Do you listen to classical music?
~ Most definitely

What is the 1st TV Theme song that pops in your head?
~ The theme from the original Battlestar Galactica

Do you watch Sponge Bob?
~ Occasionally I will come across it while channel surfing and will stop on it because it reminds me of my sister Samantha

What temperature is it outside right now?
~ Clear and 68

Do people consider you smart?
~ About a great many things that are useless in everyday life

How many piercings do you have?
~ Four that are currently occupied, several more that are vacant at the moment

Are you signed on AIM?
~ No, YIM

Have you ever tried gluing your fingers together?
~ I wasn't "trying"

39 .
How do you feel about your family?
~ Very close

Do you have an iPod?
~ I do not, I still love hauling my CDs everywhere

What time do you go to bed?
~ between 12:30 and 1:00

What CD is currently in your CD player?
~ Salvation by Cult of Luna

What movie do you know every line to?
~ Raising Arizona

What is your favorite salad dressing?
~ I had this Sesame Seed dressing at my Aunt Mary's that was REALLY good

What do you want for Christmas this year?
~ Same thing I want every year

What family member/friend lives the farthest from you? Where?
~ My Grandmother out in Florida

Do you like hugs?
~ Who among us without issues does not?

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
~ Always, they're always there

Whats the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?
~ My last name is Amyx (Ay-Mix) but few people outside my home town say it correctly unless I say it first (and sometimes even then they don't) most people say (Am-Ix)

Last person you hugged?
~ Ybanez (it was his birthday)

Out Sick Yesterday Survey

(((03))) (photo by timothysschenck)

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Envahisseurs étranges

Just how far have movies come since 1983? One has but to view Strange Invaders to literally see what happens to a unique concept delivered by a great screenwriter (Bill Condon) when some inept director (Michael Laughlin) says he's going to "spoof" 50's sci-fi cinema but ends up spending an insane amount on effects (sort of) and avoids things like acting, continuity and the concept of suspension of dis-belief. Wanna know who fucked up this movie? Look up Condon and Laughlin and see which one took his career somewhere.

I remember the opening and closing scenes from this movie as an 11 year old kid and when it came on IFC the other day I hit record thinking I'd re-visit my childhood... and watching it last night, the only childhood I re-visited was some dork's fantasy that he was going to grow up one day and be a director.

Do I recommend Strange Invaders? Actually, yes. The alien costumes and visual effects where pretty cool as was the mother ship design, but much like one would with the crap-fest that is the dialog in a Michael Bay movie, you may want to just turn down the volume and fast-forward to the good parts. There's no need to get "involved" with the mindless characters and sub-par acting. If you wanna know the plot, just read the back of the packaging. 94 minutes of my life I wish I'd spent channel surfing.