Tuesday, July 31, 2007


These walls are stained engraved with pain
You will find them under shadows casting shame
Some it's all they'll ever know,
Angels of the fortunate sons come and go...
You may not

Entities pass in the night
Guardians and the Reaper fight the will to live shall win
Mares of hope ride through their dreams blinding light awakens sleeping dawn
It seems it was all a dream...an endless dream

I will wish upon a star
I believe in you
And if my will has strayed afar
I rememebered you
Will you remember me
I the one you sentenced
Pennance unabsolved
Answer me save my will
Have you forgotten me?

Pace the hallway blindman for a million miles of stars
His mind has seen.
Think you may he lives in darkness?
We're the dark he's seen the light of dream
She's been asleep forever...
I know she hears me
She has so much to say,
Machine shoots sparks through face
Unto my hand, into my heart

I'm a fire without a flame helpless child without a name
With broken wings catch me
I'm falling
I'm a question with no answer
Who are you that takes my life away from me?
Unveil the bondaries of the black

I had a dream I was you
Strong as the fire in your veins
Then when I called out your name
I would remain and witness the pain
I am beyond silent black I will be back
As your guardian


British army ends Northern Ireland mission...finally!

from SHAWN POGATCHNIK, Associated Press

BELFAST, Northern Ireland - The British army marked a milestone of peacemaking Tuesday as it formally ended its 38-year mission to bolster security in Northern Ireland.
The military's longest-running operation officially was ending at midnight. But the symbolic moment came months after the reality — no British troops have been on patrol on Belfast streets for two years.
As of Wednesday, all 5,000 soldiers remaining in this long-disputed corner of the United Kingdom will be committed to training for operations in Iraq, Afghanistan or elsewhere overseas.
Analysts and ex-soldiers are debating whether British security forces defeated the outlawed Irish Republican Army, which waged a 1970-1997 campaign to overthrow Northern Ireland by force. But all sides agree the IRA's 2005 decision to renounce violence and disarm has permitted British soldiers to beat their own retreat.
"We don't need them any more," said Chief Constable Hugh Orde, commander of the Police Service of Northern Ireland, which increasingly can operate in most of the IRA's Roman Catholic power bases. For decades, police patrols in these areas required backup from troops.
The central goal of the Good Friday peace accord of 1998 — a joint Catholic-Protestant administration that includes the IRA-linked Sinn Fein party — was revived in May and has been operating harmoniously.
The other key goal, forging a police force supported on both sides of the community, is more than midway through a 10-year reform program. Catholic numbers in police ranks have more than doubled to 21 percent, and Britain hopes to transfer control of Northern Ireland security to local hands next year.
Two dissident IRA groups continue to plot attacks. But Orde and Lt. Gen. Nick Parker, who commands the new "peacetime" army garrison, say the dissidents will be defeated by gathering intelligence, not by deploying troops.
"There are still places where, sadly, a very small number of people are determined to wreck all that has been achieved," Orde said. "We have to be very mindful of that threat, but we can cope with that."
The British army once had 106 bases and 27,000 troops in Northern Ireland, and had 44 bases here only two years ago. It now has fewer than 20 bases and expects to have just 10 by April.
"The change in the political and security reality of Northern Ireland since ... 2005 has been even more dramatic than we could have hoped," said Irish Foreign Minister Dermot Ahern.
The official end of Operation Banner — the codename used for the deployment of troops as peacekeepers 38 years ago — has triggered introspection throughout Britain and Ireland, where tens of thousands bear physical and psychological scars from a conflict that left 3,700 dead. Among those were 763 soldiers and 309 people killed by soldiers, chiefly Catholic civilians and IRA members.
Britain deployed troops in August 1969 to end Protestant mob attacks on Catholic homes in west Belfast and street battles between Catholic civilians and Protestant police in Londonderry, the second-largest city. Most soldiers, welcomed by the Catholic minority, expected to stay for only weeks.
Instead, Britain permitted Northern Ireland's Protestant government of the day to wield control over how
British forces were used. A newly formed Provisional IRA began launching attacks against police and, eventually, the army, killing its first soldier in 1971. Protestant leaders used the army to impose internment without trial almost exclusively against IRA suspects.
In 1972, the army committed its deadliest act, the Bloody Sunday massacre in which 13 unarmed Catholic demonstrators were shot to death in Londonderry. That year proved the deadliest for both the army and Northern Ireland as a whole: 470 slain, including 102 soldiers.
Sinn Fein justice spokesman Gerry Kelly, who led the IRA's first car bomb attacks on London in 1973, accused Britain of repeatedly spurning offers to negotiate.
"It could have come to a conclusion much sooner ... but the British political establishment kept pushing for a military victory that the British army itself knew was impossible to achieve," he said.
Protestant leaders said the problem was prolonged by local hatreds, and the army's presence prevented a collapse into civil war.
"The reason the army came into Northern Ireland in the first place was because we couldn't find a way to live together, so let's not blame the army for what happened," said Protestant lawmaker Jeffrey Donaldson. "We shouldn't forget their sacrifices. There were families who sent their boys over here to hold the line — and they came back in a wooden box."
Retired Col. Mike Dewar, a security analyst who served several tours in Northern Ireland, called the death toll in the early 1970s "horrific — a much higher casualty rate than what we have suffered in Iraq or Afghanistan."
Intelligence agents eventually built a detailed picture of the IRA, and undercover army squads wiped out several IRA units in ambushes in the 1980s and early 1990s — a brutal strategy that Dewar credits with spurring the IRA's cease-fire.
"The IRA were clearly infiltrated. The pressure became unbearable for the IRA," Dewar said.
But a former soldier, John Moore, who was paralyzed from the waist down by an IRA bomb in 1981, said he felt no sense of triumph, only relief.
"There were no victories. Surely no one in their right mind wants to go back to those dark days," said Moore, who served in the Royal Green Jackets Regiment. "All it brought was pain, death and destruction."

Monday, July 30, 2007


I walk along the city streets you used to walk along with me
and every step I take reminds me of just how we used to be
How can I forget you, girl?
When there is always something there to remind me.
As shadows fall, I pass a small cafe where we would dance at night And I can't help recalling how it felt to kiss and hold you tight
If you should find you miss the sweet and tender love we used to share
Just go back to the places where we used to go, and I'll be there


Wednesday, July 25, 2007

MKA+LMA vs. 07.21.07

"I'm happy...hope you're happy too..."

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

07.21.07 vs. Lewsiville

1) My Aunt Mary, cousin Tylar and Uncle Kenny
2) Tylar and Me (kinda)
3) My cousin Athena's son Steven and Me

Namaste (but not really)

There are things out of our hands in this life that will go far distances to determining many outcomes. These things are most often in the hands of others and result in the ruining of lives for personal gain.

This is where karma steps in. Karma is the Universes way of making you pay for what you've done without the burden of revenge falling in the shoulders of the person you have wronged. And let me tell you, karma inflicts way worse revenge than any person could.

I will give you an example, and I swear on my child that this is all true. While separated from my wife, a piece of shit (for personal gain) told a lie to my wife that infuriated her and caused her to make my life hell by turning off and taking back everything that was still in her name. Regardless of the legalities of what she did, it was wrong because the reason she was mad wasn't true.

My wife the next day had many unfortunate events happen and even went so far as to call me and say that she knew she did wrong because she felt karma was kicking her ass. She lost her job, cell phone, car broke down, fought with nearly everyone she knew...she was miserable...
Karma had done everything and that is the truth. Do I believe in it? Of course, karma gets me all the time.

So what happened to the person who lied to her? That person is still getting theirs, monetary gain has a way of just making you more and more miserable...and they are sinking in their own little hole...thoughts of depression and suicide and pushing away anyone who could have helped.

This is not a warning, it's a shared story. I have done things that I am not proud of, but I am in no way afraid of what my payback will be when the time comes...are you?


Monday, July 23, 2007

At vindicta bonum vita jucundius ipsa nempe hoc indocti (or...revenge is sweeter than life itself)

"One sole desire, one passion now remains
To keep life's fever still within his veins,
Vengeance! dire vengeance on the wretch who cast
O'er him and all he lov'd that ruinous blast."

Thomas Moore

"All the old knives That have rusted in my back, I drive in yours."

Phaedrus (Thrace of Macedonia)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Five people arrested during M3 protests

Gardaí have arrested five people who were protesting against the contentious M3 motorway being routed close to the historic Hill of Tara in Meath.

The campaigners were arrested for public order offences at the site at Blundelstown, about five miles south of Navan town on the west side of the existing M3. They are being held at Navan Garda Station.

The company building the road claimed this morning a construction worker was hospitalised following clashes with protesters. Protesters also claim they were “assaulted” by construction workers.

In a statement, Eurolink said the worker was taken to Our Lady’s Hospital in Navan by ambulance after he was “assaulted” by a protester at the construction site.

“The incident happened a couple of hours after gardaí were called to the M3 construction site at 7am,” the statement said.

“Five protesters delayed commuters on the way to work by blocking the N3 for approximately 45 minutes from 7am this morning, in an effort to stop construction workers going to work at the Blundelstown Interchange construction site.”

ireland.com witnessed no delays to commuters on the N3 shortly after 7am. There were, however, signs of protesters, who have been present at a number of sites along the route at various times in recent weeks.

We recognise the protesters’ right to protest peacefully and legally but we deplore the assault on one of our employees. Workers should be allowed to do their work lawfully, without interference

José Tamariz, Eurolink “What happened this morning is unacceptable and cannot be condoned by anyone,” said José Tamariz, managing director of Eurolink. “We recognise the protesters’ right to protest peacefully and legally but we deplore the assault on one of our employees. Workers should be allowed to do their work lawfully, without interference.”

He added that the company fears the situation on the M3 construction site is becoming “more and more dangerous every day”.

Campaigners against the route of the M3 motorway under construction near the Hill of Tara have also claimed they were involved in clashes with construction workers this morning.

Members of the Tarawatch group said up to 60 protesters were at the site at Soldier Hill on the northern slope of the Hill of Tara, where work is underway on the interchange.

A spokeswoman for the protesters told ireland.com they had been trying to block diggers and bulldozers when one person was “thrown to the ground” by a group of about five construction workers. Another person had his hand hurt, she said.

The Tarawatch spokeswoman called for a moratorium on all work on the M3 until a full investigation of the route was undertaken by the European Commission.

Tarawatch has opposed the current route from the outset, but has called on the Minister for the Environment to halt work following the discovery of a previously unknown national monument at Lismullin and the destruction of another site at Baronstown two weeks ago.

The campaigners claim Tara is a more extensive site than previously believed and that the road will destroy monuments worthy of international heritage status.

The National Roads Authority insists the current route is the only one feasible and that it is necessary to reduce congestion on the existing N3 and to reduce commuting times between Clonee and Kells, Co Meath.

Construction contractors also say that under a code of practice agreed with the NRA and the Department of Arts, Heritage, Gaeltacht and the Islands that “major changes” have taken place in the approach to archaeology on national road developments.

They say they now use “innovative” ways of finding new archaeological sites and allow ample time and resources to excavate them. However, in certain projects, such sites must now only be recorded and noted rather than preserved from construction work.

The European Commission is investigating whether aspects of the road may be in breach of EU law. Mr Gormley has insisted he has no power to reverse a decision on the road taken by his predecessor Dick Roche in the week before he left office.

Irish Times

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Don't just read, do something!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Reprise (or...ok, ok, ok)

Many people have written in asking "why so many 'love' quotes?" or "come on, bring back the angry blog!". Thank you for reading and responding, even if you aren't able to share in my joy. Truth is, I am very happy...but I would be lying if I said there wasn't still trouble in paradise.

Part of that has to do with whether or not we realize that certain things, no matter what they do for us, can hurt, or frighten or make unhappy the very people that we love and are the closest to. And, whether we are the ones continuously doing something that we know causes others anxiety or if we are the ones being dealt anxiety because someone refuses to see that what they are doing effects another person negatively...our options can be as troubling as the act itself.

Often times we are put in a position of being walked on because we chose to ignore or dismiss our own feelings for another, or we run the risk of being judged as selfish or difficult because we are honest about how we feel. Either way, it is up to both parties to 1) Recognize that our actions have greater consequences than our own temporary happiness, 2) That it is up to us to more than expect other people to see that what they are doing hurts us, and 3) In all matters, it takes two, whether it involves a relationship, a friendship or both.

So as you go into this weekend, consider whether what you do makes the other person happy, or causes them distress and whether or not you can or will do anything about it...because after all, isn't their happiness just as much if not more important when it comes to exactly how happy you can be?


"If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough."

- Ann Landers

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

- Anais Nin

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."

- Barbara De Angelis

Infantile love follows the principle: "I love because I am loved."
Mature love follows the principle: "I am loved because I love."
Immature love says: "I love you because I need you."
Mature love says: "I need you because I love you."

- Erich Fromm

"We need not think alike to love alike."

- Francis David

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."

- HH the Dalai Lama

"If I know what love is, it is because of you."

- Herman Hesse

Thursday, July 12, 2007

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."

- Peter Ustinov

"Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit."

-Alexandre Dumas

"If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else.If you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have."

-Sir James M. Barrie

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.

(Reinhold Niebuhr)
"Not only is another world possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing."

(Arundhati Roy)
Do not depend on the hope of results.

You may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect.

As you get used to this idea, you start more and more to concentrate not on the results, but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.

You gradually struggle less and less for an idea and more and more for specific people.

In the end, it is the reality of a personal relationship that saves everything.

(Thomas Merton)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Ce n'est jamais assez


Faire taire Encore...

Silence again

Save me from thinking…
Why don't you open inside
When you open your eyes?
Is it part of some game?
Save me from sleeping…
What's the true meaning of win
When I've lost my towel?

Ignore these thoughts
Retrace my steps
My spirit's lost a thousand bets
I won't deny circumstance
Gets greater and harder
I'm just beginning to see
That I'm slowly going blind
And it's not part of some mystery
To be left behind

Silence again
Save me from keeping
This violence within

"Sometimes the elevator has to go all the way to the bottum before it can go back up..."


Friday, July 06, 2007

Ask a silly question (or...the rise in declining I.Q.'s)

My friend Matt Vaughn sent me a link to a Craig's List post that is for all intents, the very answer I would give in a simular situation. This is it's re-post. Enjoy, and for the love of fucking god people...please think before you open your gobs and spout such rediculous fucking questions:


Date: 2007-05-03, 2:34PM EDT

Ask a silly question:

I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing inline at the check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

Stupid b*tch...why else would I buy dog food??


Thursday, July 05, 2007

If you disappear...


Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Angel Domain...

All my fears, looking where to hide
All my fears, buried deep inside

Easy for you, your skin's so tough it's hard
Easy for you, you only see what you want

Angel by your side

Easy for you, how could you be so weak
Easy for you, everything looks just fine

Angel by your side

All my fears, looking where to hide
All my fears, they'll get in you in time

Angel by your side


Monday, July 02, 2007

Playin' up a Storm

People say that you're no good,
But I wouldn't cut you loose, baby, if I could.
I seem to stay down on the ground,
I'm too far gone to turn around.
If only you would make up your mind,
Take me where you go, you're leaving me behind.
You got those come and go blues,
You got me feelin' like a fool.

'round 'n' 'round, 'round we go, -
Don't ask me why I stay here, I don't know.
Well maybe I'm a fool to care,
Without your sweet love, baby I would be nowhere.
Here I'll stay, locked in your web,
Till that day I might find somebody else.
I don't know just when that would be,
I don't know, I can't say as I can't see.
You got me feeling like a fool.

Sail on, darlin', sail on
Woman, you go your way, and I'll go mine
Seems to me, that I once heard
That everything is finally cured by time
So sail on, darlin', sail on
Lord, I wish you good luck
And I'll see you when you come next time.