Friday, May 29, 2009


Never let me die, Gently
Never let me go!


Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Huit personnalités toxiques pour éviter

by Brett Blumenthal - Sheer Balance

Although we like to think that the people in our lives are well-adjusted, happy, healthy minded individuals, we sometimes realize that it just isn't so. Personally, I've had moments where I'll be skipping through my day, happy as can be, thinking life is grand and BAM, I'll be blindsided by someone who manages to knock the happy wind out of my sails. Sometimes it is easy to write it off and other times, not so much.

Maybe you are a positive person, but when you are around a certain individual, you feel negative. Or, maybe you have an idealistic view of the world and when you are with certain people, you are made to feel silly, unrealistic or delusional. Or, maybe you pride yourself in being completely independent and in control of your life, but when you are around a certain family member, you regress into a state of childhood.

Some of these situations, and yes, these people, can have a tremendously negative impact on our lives. And, although we are all human and have our 'issues,' some 'issues' are quite frankly, toxic. They are toxic to our happiness. They are toxic to our mental outlook. They are toxic to our self-esteem. And they are toxic to our lives. They can suck the life out of us and even shorten our lifespan.

Here are the worst of the toxic personalities out there and how to spot them:

1. Manipulative Mary: These individuals are experts at manipulation tactics. Is a matter of fact, you may not even realize you have been manipulated until it is too late. These individuals figure out what your 'buttons' are, and push them to get what they want.

Why they are toxic: These people have a way of eating away at your belief system and self-esteem. They find ways to make you do things that you don't necessarily want to do and before you know it, you lose your sense of identity, your personal priorities and your ability to see the reality of the situation. The world all of a sudden becomes centered around their needs and their priorities.

2. Narcissistic Nancy: These people have an extreme sense of self-importance and believe that the world revolves around them. They are often not as sly as the Manipulative Marys of the world, but instead, tend to be a bit overt about getting their needs met. You often want to say to them "It isn't always about you."

Why they are toxic: They are solely focused on their needs, leaving your needs in the dust. You are left disappointed and unfulfilled. Further, they zap your energy by getting you to focus so much on them, that you have nothing left for yourself.

3. Debbie Downers: These people can't appreciate the positive in life. If you tell them that it is a beautiful day, they will tell you about the impending dreary forecast. If you tell them you aced a mid-term, they'll tell you about how difficult the final is going to be.

Why they are toxic: They take the joy out of everything. Your rosy outlook on life continues to get squashed with negativity. Before you know it, their negativity consumes you and you start looking at things with gray colored glasses yourself.

4. Judgmental Jims: When you see things as cute and quirky, they see things as strange and unattractive. If you find people's unique perspectives refreshing, they find them 'wrong'. If you like someone's eclectic taste, they find it 'disturbing' or 'bad'.

Why they are toxic: Judgmental people are much like Debbie Downers. In a world where freedom rings, judgment is sooo over. If the world was a homogeneous place, life would be pretty boring. Spending a lot of time with these types can inadvertently convert you into a judgmental person as well.

5. Dream Killing Keiths: Every time you have an idea, these people tell you why you can't do it. As you achieve, they try to pull you down. As you dream, they are the first to tell you it is impossible.

Why they are toxic: These people are stuck in what is instead of what could be. Further, these individuals eat away at your self-esteem and your belief in yourself. Progress and change can only occur from doing new things and innovating, dreaming the impossible and reaching for the stars.

6. Insincere Illissas: You never quite feel that these people are being sincere. You tell a funny story, they give you a polite laugh. You feel depressed and sad and they give you a 'there, there' type response. You tell them you are excited about something and you get a very ho-hum response.

Why they are toxic: People who aren't sincere or genuine build relationships on superficial criteria. This breeds shallow, meaningless relationships. When you are really in need of a friend, they won't be there. When you really need constructive criticism, they would rather tell you that you are great the way you are. When you need support, they would rather see you fail or make a fool of yourself.

7. Disrespectful Dannys: These people will say or do things at the most inappropriate times and in the most inappropriate ways. In essence, they are more subtle, grown up bullies. Maybe this person is a friend who you confided in and uses your secret against you. Maybe it is a family member who puts their busy-body nose into your affairs when it is none of their business. Or maybe, it is a colleague who says demeaning things to you.

Why they are toxic: These people have no sense of boundaries and don't respect your feelings or, for that matter, your privacy. These people will cause you to feel frustrated and disrespected.

8. Never Enough Nellies: You can never give enough to these people to make them happy. They take you for granted and have unrealistic expectations of you. They find ways to continually fault you and never take responsibility for anything themselves.

Why they are toxic: You will spend so much time trying to please them, that you will end up losing yourself in the process. They will require all of your time and energy, leaving you worn out and your own needs sacrificed.

All of these personalities have several things in common. 1) the more these people get away with their behavior, the more they will continue. 2) Unfortunately, most of these people don't see that what they do is wrong and as a result, talking to them about it will fall on deaf ears, leaving you wondering if you are the crazy one. 3) Most of these people get worse with age, making their impact on you stronger with time.

Frankly, life is too short to spend your time dealing with toxicity. If you can, avoid spending mucho time with people who are indicative of these behaviors and you'll feel a lot happier. Have you encountered these personalities? What have you done? Any personalities you would add?
Eight toxic personalities to avoid

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Comment l'Autre Moitié Vit : Les études Parmi les Logements de New York

Jacob August Riis (May 3, 1849 - May 26, 1914), a Danish-American muckraker journalist, photographer, and social reformer, was born in Ribe, Denmark. He is known for his dedication to using his photographic and journalistic talents to help the less fortunate in New York City, which was the subject of most of his prolific writings and photographic essays. He helped with the implementation of "model tenements" in New York with the help of humanitarian Lawrence Veiller. As one of the first photographers to use flash, he is considered a pioneer in photography.
How the Other Half Lives: Studies Among the Tenements of New York (1891) was a pioneering work of photojournalism by Jacob Riis, documenting the squalid living conditions in New York City slums in the 1880s. It served as a basis for future muckraking journalism by exposing the slums to New York City’s upper and middle class.


Friday, May 22, 2009

...let's get out of this place

I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste
A flannel for my face
Pajamas, a hairbrush, new shoes and a case
I said to my reflection, let's get out of this place

Pass the church and the steeple, the laundry on the hill
Billboards and the buildings
Memories of it still keep calling, and calling
But forget it all I know I will

Tempted by the fruit of another
Tempted, but the truth is discovered
What's been going on, now that you have gone
There's no other

I'm at the carpark, the airport, the baggage carousel
The people keep on grabbing, ain't wishing I was well
I said, it's no occasion, it's no story I can tell

At my bedside, empty pocket, a foot without a sock
Your body gets much closer, I fumble for the clock
Alarmed by the seduction, I wish that it would stop

I bought a novel, some perfume, a fortune all for you
But it's not my conscience that hates to be untrue
I asked of my reflection, tell me what is there to do?


Thursday, May 21, 2009

(Ne faire pas) Permettre à Haine

Why can't we be (together)?
Can't you love me, don't hate me
I don't see (why can't we live together)
Maybe we could get it on (maybe we could get along)
Should be our destiny
There's a cold streak living (inside us)
There's no rainbows... just bullets and bombs
If you want to rise up
We can make this hate stop
Now don't you want to rise up

We've been giving hate a chance
(We've got all this love to give, you know)
And the love will be running out for us
Can you feel the dreams of life
We're hoping we can still survive
As the wind carries every dove away

Now you've been taking our dignity for too long
I want to save this sanctity that we hold
And who's right and who's wrong
We're not so different anyway
Words are in this song
Can't we stop the fighting?


Etre un ‹ Personne de Gens › mai Est Tout dans Votre Tête

Regions of the brain that process pleasurable experiences such as sweet tastes and sexual stimuli are the same ones that determine whether an individual is a "people person," say European researchers.

They used MRI to scan the brains of 41 males who'd completed a questionnaire designed to measure their emotional warmth and sociability. Those who were most social had greater concentrations of grey matter (brain-cell containing tissue) in the orbitofrontal cortex (the outer strip of the brain just above the eyes) and in the ventral striatum (located in the center of the brain).

Previous research has shown that both areas play an important role in processing simple rewards such as sweet tastes or sexual stimuli.

"It's interesting that the degree to which we find social interaction rewarding relates to the structure of our brains in regions that are important for simple biological drives such as foods, sweet liquids and sex. Perhaps this gives us a clue to how complex features like sentimentality and affection evolved from structures that in lower animals originally were only important for basic biological survival processes," research leader Dr. Graham Murray, of the University of Cambridge in England, said in a university news release.

"Sociability and emotional warmth are very complex features of our personality. This research helps us understand at a biological level why people differ in the degrees to which we express those traits," he said. However, Murray noted that this research is "only correlational and cross-sectional" and "cannot prove that brain structure determines personality. It could even be that your personality, through experience, helps in part to determine your brain structure."

The study appears in the European Journal of Neuroscience.

This area of research could help improve understanding of mental health disorders, such as schizophrenia, in which social interaction is a major problem.

"Patients with certain psychiatric conditions often experience difficulties in feeling emotional closeness, and this can have a big impact on their life. It could be that the cause of these difficulties is at least partly due to brain structural features of those disorders," Murray said.
Being a 'People Person' May Be All in Your Head

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Je suis INFJ et je serai pour le reste de ma vie

My mood was perfectly beautiful today. I awoke, able to have put aside my sorrows and fears. Able to smile at the sunrise and greet the day with an optimism I've not felt in a great while. Just then, I got a gracious offer for lunch by someone I would have loved to have seen. Someone whom I know must have been in the area for some reason.

So I get the request and look down at my desk and at the food I've already begun to eat. I'm working through my lunch break and am not eating something that I can save. I can't stand wasting food. Like, psychologically it FLOORS me. I've had too many times very young that we went without and in my adult life, I just can't see wasting.

Anyway, so I have to decline for a few reasons. 1) I have a lot of work, 2) I am already eating lunch and 3) I just can't. My heart breaks, I've had an AWFUL week so far and it's only Wednesday and seeing this person would have been the mental reboot my soul needed. But I just couldn't. And, I HATED saying no.

Not to be un-humble, but at this point pretty much anything they would have said would have been ok... the response I got however was, "You can't see me?"... There it was, and I felt that the statement was basically asking me to re-visit an apology. An apology I felt was already implied but that I guess in a way I didn't really say. This however was basically demanding it and I now felt worse. All positive vibes I'd felt about my day, regardless of how shitty things have been getting, were now gone again. My heart now resting in the acid at the pit of my stomach.

In this person's defense, I am a basket case. I notice everything, and don't misinterpret it, people miscommunicate it. It's not their fault, but nor is it mine. So I guess this thing called life is gonna have to be, "take me or leave me". I cannot change. I am INFJ and I will be for the rest of my life and I can't have everything everyday stepped on because of a lack of communication.

To the friend, I am sorry. And yes by the way, this blog is about you.
I am INFJ and I will be for the rest of my life

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

"To expect too much is to have a sentimental view of life and this is a softness that ends in bitterness"

Mary Flannery O'Connor (drawing by Matt Amyx)

"Waste not fresh tears over old griefs"

~ Euripides

Friday, May 15, 2009

"Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death."

~ Anaïs Nin

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Vous n'avez jamais voulu comprendre

Everything is perfect... everything is sick, and that's it
You can't tell me to stop it, you can't tell me not to quit, and that's it

Revolve around yourself, it's you and no one else
Hard for me to stay
Swinging moods that change from calmness to deranged
Unpredictable... unpredictable

You would see if only you hadn't taken things out of my hands
You never wanted to understand

Clashing ways to live here, compromise for me...
I'm at both ends of the spectrum... you're somewhere in the between
I come clean...
You never wanted to understand

Le Supplice d'Anthony de Saint

By ANGELA K. BROWN, Associated Press Writer – Wed May 13, 3:55 am ET

FORT WORTH, Texas – The Kimbell Art Museum will soon be the only U.S. museum to display a Michelangelo painting after acquiring his earliest known work, a rare treasure that was tucked away and doubted as authentic for more than a century.

The museum declined to disclose how much it paid for "The Torment of Saint Anthony," a 15th-century oil and tempera painting on a wood panel that depicts scaly, horned, winged demons trying to pull the saint out of the sky. Experts believe he painted it when he was only 12 or 13 years old.

And only four such works — including this one — by the artist exist, and two of them are unfinished. Most of his paintings are frescos, the famous scenes on the ceiling and wall of Rome's Sistine Chapel.

"This is one of the greatest rediscoveries in the history of art," Eric M. Lee, the Fort Worth museum's director, told The Associated Press on Tuesday. "The evidence could not be stronger. It's like a detective story, like a mystery, and it involves one of the greatest artists of all time."

The painting was exhibited as late as 1874 in Paris. But some questions about its authenticity had surfaced through the years, and after a London family acquired it in the 1900s, the painting was kept privately and largely forgotten in the art world, Lee said.

Last summer an art dealer bought it for nearly $2 million at a Sotheby's auction and then took it to New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art, where one department chairman shared his hunch that it was the work of the Renaissance artist, Lee said.

Experts in the Met's paintings conservation department carefully cleaned it by removing decades of dirt, as well as paint layers that art restorers had applied through the ages to fill in chips or dull areas, Lee said.

When they examined the painting further using X-rays and infrared technology, they were able to see how the artist made certain brush strokes, scraped paint layers to achieve detail and even changed elements of the painting before the final version, Lee said.

Museum experts said they determined it not only was Michelangelo's — based on similarities to his other works and the artist's stories of the piece as told to biographers — but also that it was his earliest work — based on its age and details in the painting. The confirmation came a few months ago, and then the Kimbell decided to buy it, Lee said.

The generations of dirt and paint buildup had obscured the painting's identity, and some doubted its authenticity because a similar painting existed, Lee said. But an art expert who extensively studied both paintings said the other was done in the 17th century.

Michelangelo's piece has previously been known as "The Temptation of Saint Anthony" because he was inspired by a similar engraving of that name while learning to be an artist. But after the Kimbell acquired the oil painting, Lee decided to change its name because that engraving depicts a different scene, he said.

The painting will be displayed at the Kimbell starting this fall after a summer exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. Lee said he may loan the painting to other museums later for traveling exhibits.

"This could not be a rarer object," Lee said. "That's why this is such an extraordinary opportunity."



she spreads herself wide open to let the insects in
she leaves a trail of honey to show me where she's been
she has the blood of reptile just underneath her skin
seeds from a thousand lovers drip down from within

oh my beautiful liar
oh my precious whore
my disease my infection
i am so impure

devils speak of the ways in which she'll manifest
angels bleed from the tainted touch of my caress
need to contaminate to alleviate this loneliness
i now know the depths i reach are limitless

oh my beautiful liar
oh my precious whore
my disease my infection
i am so impure


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

pour votre nouvel amour

"If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared."
for your new love
~ Niccolò di Bernardo dei Machiavelli

L'amour n'Est pas Assez

in your eyes is a place, worth remembering
but for you to go and take this, to smash it apart
i've gone all this fucking way
to wind up back at the start

the closer we think we are
it only got us so far
now you got anything left to show?
no, i didn't think so

the sooner we realize
we cover ourselves with lies
underneath we're not so tough
and love is not enough

it never really had a chance
we'd never really make it through
and to think i believed
i could get better with you

love is not enough
left for dead, and all used up

(TR:LiNE) V.2

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Vous êtes invité à regarder mes photos... reads, like an epitaph. A heartless summation of a thing long dead.
You're invited to view my photos...

Monday, May 11, 2009

Helpful Hint (ZerOThre3)

If you'd like to get a friend to spy on me and find out if I've done something, you might consider using one from whom a question about the previous night doesn't come out of the blue.

Or, maybe just use someone with the tact to not make it so utterly obvious they're fishing for information.

I would have thought that would be common sense but apparently it is not.


Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Avec les Dents

You've got the part that's living now
It's a tiny bit nasty
But it's a part now just the same

Have you the time to make it right
Lord knows I'm gonna let it fly

I know it's not very evil
But you've just got to learn to let it go

Sometimes when the heart beats wide
You can take it on the toe

Like, seize the well known one
With Teeth


Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Dominick "Dom" DeLuise
(08.01.33 - 05.04.09)


Etre le salut de soeur de mine

If I could leave my burning skin
That has been used up in your sin
Is there a tiny part of me
Untouched, unsoiled by misery?

I am the city that will lie
You are the one that blame passed by
This is the place where I will weep
The loneliness of sweet conceit

Closer now, see the revelation


Friday, May 01, 2009

Cavaliers super